Original Trainer Fic Thingy
by Stupidfic
Summary: the story of Bob as he goes on an original quest to become a Pokemon Master
1. getting first Pokemon

-1Once upon a time there was this boy named Bob. Today was Bob's tenth birthday, and he was going become a Pokemon trainer. It was also his dream to become a Pokemon master.

"Bye mom I'm leaving!" said Bob as he exited his home for the last time. Bob's mother waved goodbye to her child. Then the house exploded.

A few minutes later Bob got to Professor Tree's lab. But as he went inside he saw his rival and Tree's grandson, Rob!

"Rob! What are you doing here?" shouted Bob. "It's my tenth birthday, dumb ass!" said Rob "and I'm going to get my first Pokemon!"

Then came Prof. Tree. "Hello boys" he said "ready to be Pokemon trainers?" Bob and Rob nodded, and the professor lead them to a room. "Here are three poke balls with a Pokemon in each one" Tree said "pick which one you want for your starter!"

"Aw, only three?" whined Rob "don't you have any special ones for your greatest grandson ever?" "Well…….I guess I do" Tree replied. He pressed a random button and a dozen poke balls appeared with the words 'Legendary Pokemon' on them. "WOOT!" said Rob as he picked one with Mew in it as his starter.

"So Bob, which three Pokemon do you want?" Prof. Tree asked. Bob sweated, knowing whatever he picked Rob still had an advantage. "I…..uh……err…….um……that one!" Bob pointed to a different poke ball. Above the poke ball was a sign with the words 'WARNING! EXTREMELY DANGEROUS POKEMON! DO NOT OPEN!' "Okay!" said Tree as he gave Bob the poke ball.

"Now remember you two" the professor said "to be successful trainers you need to know some things-." "WHOO-HOO!" shouted Bob "I'M A POKEMON TRAINER! SO LONG RETARDS!" Bob then jumped out of a window. "I'll give him three days before he dies" says Rob. "True dat" said Tree.

Bob was already running towards Route 1. When he couldn't see the lab anymore, Bob stopped and looked at his poke ball. He asked himself "I wonder what Pokemon I got?" So he decided to find out by opening the poke ball. A light appeared a formed a shape, the light then faded to reveal the Pokemon is none other than………

"MISSINGNO!"

-

Will Bob become a Pokemon master? Will his starting Pokemon cause problems? Find out next time!

Maybe

If I feel like doing the next chapter


	2. in the wild

-1Bob looked at Missingno. Missingno looked at Bob. All the boy could say was "WTF?" "Missingno! Missingno!" said the Pokemon happily. "Well……….uh………let's go catch some Pokemon!" Bob said. "Missingno" replied Missingno.

Meanwhile in some bushes a suspicious person was watching the two. "Ah snap it's a rare Pokemon" said the person "I'm got to steal it!" The person continued "but first………I have to put some pants on."

Bob walked around in Route 1 when……………A WILD PIDGEY ATTACKED! "Oh boy, a Pokemon!" Bob said "time to catch it!" He went to toss a poke ball, except he had no poke ball! "I have another idea!" said Bob, and he ate the Pidgey. But it burst out of his stomach! "Ah spoot-monkeys" Bob grumbled.

"Missingno Missing no no!" said Bob's Pokemon. Bob said "what?" "No! Miss no ing Missingno!" said Missingno. Bob said "what?" The Pokemon got pissed off and shouted "YOU FUCKING RETARD! USE GODDAMN ME FOR GODDAMN'S SAKE! SHEESH!" Bob blinked and said "oh okay, Missingo! Attack!" Missingno fired a water gun at Pidgey, and Pidgey was sent to an alternate reality where robots rule the world and pizza costs thirty cents.

"That was freaking awesome!" shouted Bob "you're the best damn Pokemon ever!" Missingno would've blushed, but it had no face.

Suddenly the suspicious guy appeared! "I am a member of Team Bad" shouted the man "give me your Pokemon or die!" "Never!" answered Bob angrily. "Go Weezing!" said the man as he released a Weezing towards Bob. "Go Missingno!" shouted Bob as he kicked his Pokemon towards Weezing. "Use sludge!" ordered the man as his Pokemon spat sludge at Missingno. "Eww!" said Missing no "you just ruined my new shirt!" Weezing didn't apologize!"

"Missingno, use……uh…….that one attack thingy!" Bob said. The Pokemon used water gun on Weezing……..and nothing happened! Bob muttered "aw crap." The man laughed and said "use flamethrower!" Weezing used flamethrower, but it came out of it's butt and fried the Team Bad grunt. "I'm melting!" cried the man "I'M MELTIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!" The grunt melted, and the Weezing exploded.

"Yay! We won our first battle!" said Bob "and I didn't die!" Bob fell off a cliff. "What a dumbass" muttered Missingno. It got hit by a bus.

-

To b continued.


	3. first gym battle

-1Bob and Missingno woke up. All around them was fire and skeletons and demons. They were in HELL!

"Muahahahaha!" laughed Satan "you will never escape!" "Could we bribe you with a muffin?" asked Bob. "Oooo! Okay, you're free to go" said Satan. The trainer and his Pokemon then left hell.

They arrive at the first gym. Inside was the gym leader, Jim Lee Dar. "I want to challenge you!" shouted Bob. "Fine, I accept your challenge!" answered Jim. They had a Pokemon battle. Bob won. I'm not giving details on what happened, cuz I'm a lazy bastard.

"You won the battle" said Jim "for that you get the Bland Badge. Now you need only seven badges to fight the Elite 4." "Badges? Elite 4? WTF?" asked Bob. "What? Isn't the reason you fought me so you could get my badge?" Jim questioned. "you're a gym leader?" said Bob "I thought you were an insurance salesman!"

Jim bitch-slapped Bob. The gym leader spoke "You will never become a Pokemon master that way!" "Then what do I do?" wondered Bob. "You know, get some supplies, catch more Pokemon, stuff like that" said Jim.

"Better yet" Bob said "I'll take your badge! Hahaha!" He stole the badge that Jim gave him and flushed himself down the toilet. "Hmm" said Jim "I think I'll go crap in a boat."

And so he did.

-

TBC


	4. going shopping

-1Bob went into the town of Happysnappyville. Yeah, that's what it's called. The trainer entered the town's shop to buy some supplies. "Hello!" Bob said to the owner "I would to buy some poke balls and potions please." The shopkeeper pulled out some poke balls and potions, and asked for money. When Bob found out he had no money, the shopkeeper put away his stuff.

"Aw come on!" begged Bob "the Pokemon Center heals trainers for free!" The shopkeeper said "yeah, well, those people are only healing Pokemon for free is because they put mind control devices on the Pokemon so they could take over the world or something, now piss off!" Bob sadly left the store.

As Bob walked by a dark alley, he heard someone. "Hey kid!" somebody in the alley said "come here!" Bob eagerly went into the alley even though the person could have robbed him or stuff. "Something tells me you need money for you're trainer needs" the man said. Bob nodded. "Well, it just so happens that I can help you with that" the man spoke "all you have to do is join my gang." Bob pondered. He knew this guy was bad news, but peer pressure told him otherwise. "Hey man, join his gang and be like cool man" peer pressure said. So Bob joined the man's gang.

The next day, Bob entered the store again, looking a bit different. "Hey!" said the shopkeeper "I said if you don't have money, you can't buy stuff!" "Yo yo yo….yo yo…..yo…..YO!" said Bob "I'm a…..um……gangster….I mean gangsta……and….and…..I gonna rob you…fool!" The shopkeeper narrowed his eyes and said "you're going to rob me? I don't think so." Just as the owner was going to set the alarm, Bob pulled out Missingno! "I'm pretending to be a shotgun!" said Missingno. Bob shot the shopkeeper.

Just then gangsters entered the store and started taking stuff. "You did, my man!" said the man from yesterday "you're a real gansta now!" Suddenly, they heard police sirens outside. "Oh man it's the cops!" said a gang member "somebody ratted us out!" "Not me" said another gang member who was dressed like a cop.

There was no other choice then to have a gang war against the police. Little did everyone know that it was tornado season and everyone got ran over by one.

Bob got out of the wreckage and pulled out Missingno. They were about to leave but there was surviving police officer left, and he was pointing his gun at them. "I'm going to make you bleed, street trash!" said the evil cop. Bob needed to save himself and his Pokemon, so he grabbed a poke ball from the floor. "Poke ball go!" he shouted, and captured a random Rattata that walked by. "Heh" the officer chuckled "is that all you go-." The officer died of AIDS.

"Although everyone is dead" Bob said to Missingno "I got free money and supplies and a new Pokemon! Now that's what I call a happy ending!"

No this fic isn't over yet.

-

2 B Continued


	5. second gym battle

-1Bob got into the next city, which had the second gym. In the gym were two boys that looked like each other. "We are the second gym twins!" they said "and you must fight us in a double battle!" "Okay then" Bob said as he released his Pokemon "go Missingno and Pidgey!" "Go Plusie!" said the twin named 1 as he released his Pokemon. "Go Minun!" said the twin named 2 as he too released his Pokemon.

"We're going against electric Pokemon?" shouted Pidgey "are you nuts?" "Since when could you talk?" asked Bob. Pidgey answered "when you captured me, Missingno's radiation got to me and gave me the ability to speak human……..that, or the author is too lazy to type my name over and over again. "K" said Bob as he focused on the battle again.

"Plusie, use spark!" ordered 1. The electric Pokemon shocked Missingno. The damage was super effective! "Missingno, get that bastard with water gun!" Missingno squirted Plusie. It wasn't very effective, though it did get a third eye. "Minun, stun that Pokemon!" commanded 2. Minun let out an electric wave at Missingno and paralyzed it.

"I can't feel my legs!" cried Missingno. "You never had legs, dumb ass!" Pidgey shouted. Missingno paused for a moment, then said "oh yeah." Bob looked at his unparalyzed Pokemon and said "Pidgey, it's all up to you. Use insult!" "Uh, does that move even exist?" asked Pidgey. "JUST DO IT!" shouted Bob. Pidgey sighed, then turned to the opposing Pokemon and spoke "yo mama wuz so fat, she did a face-fault and caused an earthquake in five different animes!" Plusie and Minun were barely living!

"Damn, he's too strong!" said 1 "brother, I think you know what this means." 2 nodded and said "got it!" 1 and 2 shouted to their Pokemon "USE THE SPECIAL TEAM ATTACK!" Plusie and Minun suddenly transformed into attractive teenaged anime schoolgirls and began to make out. "OMFGWTF!1" said Bob and his Pokemon. 1 grinned evilly and ordered "Plusie, while they're stunned, use……WHAT THE HELL!" A perverted Tentacruel entered the gym and attacked the girls, knocking them out. A robot came and fried the Tentacruel, then exploded for some reason.

"Well it looks like you win" said 2. Bob got the second gym badge! Suddenly, Pidgey glowed and evolved in Pidgeotto! "I want to evolve!" whined Missingno. Missingno glowed and evolved into a sponge! "Screw this" muttered the sponge who then devolved into Missingno. When Bob and his Pokemon left, the twins turned to their still-attractive Pokemon. "Since we're alone" said 1 "let's have some fun…..hehehe. The Pokemon were tired of this shit, and decapitated their owners and ate their brains. Plusie and Minun, now free, decided to be crime fighters and melon sellers.

-

To be CONTINUED! AHHHHHH!


	6. trading Pokemon

-1Bob was walking around and met this random trainer. "Hey you there!" said the random trainer "do you have a Zubat?" Bob said "no, why?" "I'm willing to trade one of my Pokemon for a Zubat" the random trainer said. Bob, really wanting that person's Pokemon, even though he don't know what Pokemon it is, goes on a quest to catch a Zubat!

Inside a cave called Zubat's Lair, dozens of Zubat flapped around. "Man, finding a Zubat would be much easier if I knew what it looked like" Bob sighed. Pidgeotto slapped Bob and said "those are Zubats you shitface!" Bob blinked and went "oh." He tossed a poke ball and captured one. The other Zubats went crazy and gang banged the trainer.

A while later, Bob woke up, noticing he was deeper in the cave. "Crap, I can't see anything" Bob said to himself. He thought he heard something behind him, but it was too dark to see anything. He came across a convenient light switch. He turned it on and saw all around him were vampires! Not those cool looking gothic vampires, but ugly fat eighty-year old vampires wearing nothing but thong bikinis! Bob screamed like a little girl and ran away. "Ah, I wanted to suck his blood" muttered a grandpa.

Bob continued to run, trying to find a way out of this hell-hole. He bumped into a Team Bad grunt. "Oh no!" gasped the grunt "someone has discovered my plans of taking Pokemon fossils to create undead Pokemon that will take over the world! Now you will suffer!" Bob looked at the grunt wide-eyed and said "dude, I just saw really old and fat vampires back there!" The grunt went wide-eyed too and said "you mean you actually seen the horrors of Zubat's Lair? Man, I was going to beat the shit out of you but now I feel bad for you! Here, have one of my fossils!" Bob gladly took one of the Pokemon fossils, which may have use in the future if I remember that Bob has a fossil.

Bob went out of the cave and found the random trainer. "I got you a Zubat, now hand me your Pokemon!" said Bob. The random trainer took the Zubat and gave Bob a Feebas. "Well, onwards my dear Pokemon!" Bob cheerfully spoke as he walked off. The random trainer enjoyed his Zubat ever after, well, until a UFO came and abducted the Pokemon, then ninjas beated the crap out of the trainer.

-

Continued, to be.


	7. third gym battle

-1Bob walked towards the next gym. Just then a Rattata came and attacked Pidgeotto! "What the hell is going on?" asked Bob. "I'm your Pokemon, and this bastard is an imposter" shouted Rattata as it beated up Pidgeotto. Bob wondered what the Rattata meant, and reread chapter four. "Wait a minute" Bob said "I DID CAPTURE A RATTATA! HOW THE FUCK DID I GET A PIDGEY?" The world would never know, as Pidgeotto was knocked out and Rattata fell into a plot hole. Bob continued to the gym merrily.

There in the gym was the most attractive female Bob has seen. "Hey, I'm Kyra" said the girl "and I'm the gym leader of this gym." "ni-ni-ni-nic-nice t-t-to-to-to me-meet-me-me-meet y-y-yo-y-hello" Bob stuttered. He hasn't been this nervous to women when he had to tell his mom that he was wearing her panties.

"To tell you the truth, I don't feel like battling today" Kyra said "want to get lunch with me?" Unsure of what to say, Bob said "uh….err…..uh…..sure!" "You can leave your Pokemon here" said Kyra "I'm sure they'll have fun with my Pokemon." The two trainers left the gym, leaving Bob's Pokemon there. "I wonder where that chick's Pokemon are?" asked Missingno. Out of the darkness came a large gritty Machamp! "You sure have a purdy mouth" said the Machamp. Missingno gulped.

Bob and Kyra went to Mcfatass for lunch. Bob got burgers and fries, and Kyra got a corndog. She enjoyed licking her corndog while Bob was busying playing with the toys he got with his meal. Once Kyra was done with her corndog, she decided to grab some of Bob fires. Bob smashed a chair over her head and screamed "MY FRIES, BITCH!"

When Kyra gained conscious they went to the beach. While laying under the sun Bob decided to talk about himself. "…When I lost my purple balloon I was devastated" Bob sniffed "mom said the balloon went to heaven, but I knew better. Every day I inject helium to my blood stream so I could go and find my balloon. OH GOD WHY? WHY DID YOU TAKE MY BALLOONY? WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHY! _WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_" Bob then went and blew his nose on Kyra's mini-skirt. Bob stopped sobbing and said "so what's your life story?"

"Well" Kyra began "my dad is an expert Pokemon trainer and my mom is a billionaire. My hobbies are cheerleading and back massages. But being smart and beautiful and 100 perfect hasn't been that great since the only thing I haven't gotten in life is a soul mate." Bob was about to say something but then pirates attacked! They kidnapped the beach and Bob and Kyra had to escape through a basketball tournament!

It was late in the night and the trainers were heading back into the gym. "I had a really great time" Kyra said. Bob blushed. 'I need to tell her that I love her' Bob thought 'and that a Spearow crapped on her hair.' But when they got to the gym right by the entrance was another boy. "Oh, hey John!" Kyra said running to the other boy and hugging him "Bob, this is my boyfriend." Bob heart broke. Not literally though. "Well, I think it's time for bed" John said while winking at Kyra. Kyra smiled and both went upstairs to her bedroom. With a sigh Bob went into the gym.

Inside, Missingno was playing the tuba while Machamp was disco dancing. "Come on Missingno" Bob said "it's time to go." Machamp stopped dancing and gave Bob a gym badge "For giving me the best time of my life, I reward you the Love Badge!" Bob sadly smiled and accepted the badge. As he and his Pokemon were about to leave he could here noises coming from upstairs. 'Well Kyra' Bob grim fully thought 'I hope you're happy.' Bob then left.

Kyra meanwhile, was drooling and hitting John's bloody corpse over and over with a sledge hammer. Kyra spoke "natas evol I. Drol krad eht rof seibab tselom tsum. Deelb llahs lla. REDRUM REDRUM!"

-

Deunitnoc eb ot


	8. going fishing

-1In front of Bob was an old fisherman. "Hey there sonny" said the fisherman "do you like to fish?" Bob simply answered "no." "Well that's nice to know" the fisherman said, and gave him a Shitty Piece of Crap Rod. The fisherman slipped into a lake and drowned himself.

"Well I guess I should try fishing" Bob sighed. He cast the lure into the lake and caught a Magikarp! Bob shouted happily "Ah sweet, a Pokemon in the first try!" The Magikarp evolved into a Gyarados and beat the shit out of Bob and went into the lake. "Ouch" groaned Bob "maybe the next one would work." He painfully cast the lure again and caught an old boot. "Aw damn it!" Bob swore. The boot also evolved into a Gyarados and kicked Bob's ass before going in the lake.

"Maybe……I should…..go to the center…….of the lake" Bob coughed as he tried to stand up. He sent out Feebas. "Use surf!" ordered Bob. Feebas got on Bob's badly damaged body and rode him to the lake's center.

At the center of the lake was a Team Bad member on a boat. "Hey" said Bob "what are doing out here?" The grunt laughed and said "I'm dumping pollution into the lake!" Bob eyes widened and asked "wouldn't that hurt the Pokemon that live in the lake?" "Of course it would!" the Bad grunt snickered "but what are they going to do about it?"

The Team Bad member, though, forget Pokemon have fucking SUPER POWERS!

"WE'RE BLASTING OFF FOR SOME REASON!" the grunt and Bob screamed as they were thrown out of the lake and into the sky. The grunt got into a passing plane's propellers but Bob went going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and going and okay I'll stop now.

Bob, by bad luck, but actually the author's script, landed in the ocean. "At least I'm alone" Bob said. Just then a Sharpedo playing the violin was heading towards him!

-

To be or not to be………continued


	9. fourth gym battle

-1Bob went the four gym. The gym leader looked like someone from another anime. "I am Iguy" said the gym leader "now let's duel!" Bob pulled out his poke balls but noticed Iguy taking out cards. "Did I mention you have to fight with Pokemon cards?" "But I don't know how to play" Bob whined. Iguy said "neither do I." They then had a battle!

"I summon Blue Eyes White Dragonite!" Iguy shouted as he put a card down. Bob puts two cards "I have Jigglypuff in defense mode and equip it with microphone-that's-also-a-marker which increases it's attacks points by two!" Iguy yelled "Now I use the trainer card Farty Pants, which allows me to pass gas on your face!" Iguy put his ass on Bob and quickly got off when his hinny got bitten. "Nice try, but I counter your move with the trap card Butt Biter!" Bob chuckled.

Bob's Pokemon were watching the battle from afar. "Oh wow, Bob used the Butt Biter card!" Missingno said. Pidgeotto asked "why the hell are we out here anyway?" "Because we're here to make this chapter more interesting so it's not just a crappy card game battle" answered Feebas. "Oh" Pidgeotto said "YOU CAN DO IT BOB! BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!1!one!1eleven."

"Got any fire types?" asked Iguy. Bob looked at his cards and said "go fish." Iguy draws out a card and grins menacingly. "YOUR TIME IS UP BOB" Iguy shouted "FOR I USE THE NUCLEAR PWNAGE CARD!" Bob said "I use the reverse attack card." "OH SNAP I JUST GOT OWNED!" Iguy screamed, which he soon lost the game.

Once Iguy finished crying, he pulled out a badge. "You have earned the Card Badge" the gym leader said as he gave Bob the badge. Bob smiled and kicked Iguy in the groin. "Ha ha!" laughed Bob "you're a nerd!" Bob then ran away like a little girl.

Iguy suddenly seemed to age a bit. "Iguy, why didn't you let me fight him" Iguy said to himself. "I don't always need your help, pharaoh, I can fight by myself! Pff, yeah right! What? Oh come on Iguy, you suck at Pokemon cards and you know it! That's not true! You can't even get a girlfriend you geek! Don't make me kick your ass! Bring it on bitch!" Iguy punched himself over and over.


	10. Pokemon contest

-1In the next town there was a Pokemon contest beginning. "What's a Pokemon contest?" asked Bob. Pidgeotto answered "it's like a Pokemon battle, except you use attacks to appeal people." Bob said "ooo! Let's enter!" So went to sign up for the beauty contest.

"I would like to enter my Feebas please" Bob said to the registration guy. The guy looked at Feebas and laughed, then said "good luck trying to beat Rebecca with that thing!" Bob asked "who's Rebecca?" "The reigning beauty champion, of course!" the registration guy shouted "she's this half-human half-Espeon hybrid that was once a experiment for Team Bad, but then ran away and decided to do Pokemon contests for some reason."

"We'll beat Rebecca! Won't we Feebas?" Bob said to his Pokemon. Feebas nodded. The contest then started. The contestants were good, but Feebas did a good splash move, which surprising actually was useful and got applause for it. Then the last contestant was Rebecca. For a freak she was rather hot. Rebecca used psychic to levitate a pitcher of cold water and poured it down her t-shirt. The crowd went wild with applause. Bob, Rebecca, and some other people nobody gives a rat's ass about got into the semi-finals!

"You did great, Feebas!" the trainer said. Feebas though was rather intimated by Rebecca and was rather depressed and ate lots of poke blocks. The semi-finals started and Feebas play a piano with bubble beam. Rebacca used morning sun and did a cute pose. Some Charmelon ate his trainer. Bob and Rebecca got enough appeal to go to the finals!

Bob was really excited then noticed something about his Pokemon. "Hey Feebas" Bob asked "have you gained weight?" Feebas was without a doubt, really really really fat. She gotten fat due to eating so many poke blocks! Bob put a pink bow on her head hoping nobody would notice the weight, and Feebas broke the table she was standing on.

The finals then started. Rebecca used hidden power to rip off her clothes and revealed a tiny purple bikini. The audience cheered, especially the perverts! It was Feebas's turn and things did not look good. She sighed and went on stage. Bob's plan was for her to let out a massive fart that would kill everyone so her trainer could steal the ribbon, but something else happened. Feebas's body glowed a bright white and started morphing. The glowing stopped and she was now a beautiful Milotic! Everybody cheered wildly like crazy!

"Milotic is the winner!" said the announcer. Rebecca set herself on fire and ran around like a chicken. Bob took the ribbon in joy and looked at it. "Meh" he said as he tossed it in the trash.

-

ta be cantinued


	11. fifth gym battle

-1Bob went into the gym. "here's a free badge" the gym leader said. "Thanks" Bob replied and left.

-

I have writer's block, to be continued.


	12. raising baby Pokemon

-1Bob came back to the Pokemon Daycare after playing the slots for four days straight. He waited patiently as the old man who owned the daycare brought out Missingno who Bob left. "Heeey der Bobby!" Missingno chuckled while swinging a bottle of whiskey "we gotta com back 'ere more often, hehehehehehe!" The trainer didn't why Missingno would want to come back, but then the old man pulled out an egg.

"I think this is yours" said the old man as he gave Bob the egg. Bob looked at the egg in curiosity. He said to the old man "so…….do I sit on it or something?" The old man chuckled "Hahaha…..…NO! You have to walk countless miles so the egg can hatch!" Bob took a step and the egg hatched revealing a Togepi. "Well I have some daycaring to do, goodbye" said the old man as he went to mate with some female Pokemon.

Togepi cried and Bob was annoyed. "Shut up Togepi!" Bob shouted. "You know" Pidgeotto said "you really shouldn't neglect babies." "I am not neglecting Togepi!" Bob said "OOO a carnival! Let's go!" Bob put down Togepi in a forest while him and the other went to the carnival. Little did Bob know that it was the dreaded forest of thieves and bloodthirsty Pokemon and registered sex offenders. Togepi was hungry and cold and very sad.

Later in the night Bob got kicked out of the carnival during an incident in a freak show when Missingno got into a fight with the bearded duck. He went to pick up Togepi but noticed he was gone! "Where could he be?" Bob wondered. The trainer heard faint music and decided to check it out. The music lead to a gothic heavy metal concert. Bob had nothing better to do so he went to watch the band play. He noticed the guitarist was a tiny egg-like Pokemon with a black shell and piercings on his spikes above his face.

Togepi was an **_EMO!_**

"But he doesn't look an emu" Bob stupidly said. He moved through the crowd to get closer to his changed Pokemon. "HEY TOGEPI!" Bob shouted "HEY! OVER HERE! IT'S ME!" Upon hearing Bob's voice, the band instantly stopped playing and stared at Bob. In fact, the entire crowd stared at Bob. Now that he was uncomfortable with all the eyes on him, Bob made armpit fart noises. A band member then pulled Bob up on stage.

"You have a lot of nerves coming here after what you done with the Prince of Blood" the member said. Togepi nodded. "Please, it was an honest mistake!" Bob said. The crowd booed and threw stuff at Bob. "You neglected a poor defenseless baby and now he's one of us!" a band member said. The crowd chanted "one of us! One of us!"

Bob was very guilty now and also had to go to the bathroom, so he tried to persuade Togepi. "hey Togepi" Bob said "I'll give you candy if you come back with me!" Togepi turned away. "Oooo! Can I have candy?" asked the drummer. The crowd booed and threw stuff at the drummer. Bob persuaded again "toys? Movies? Games? Porn? Drugs? Weapons?" Togepi shook his head. Bob was out of ideas and was about to give up, but then had an idea.

"A Linking Park collection and a myspace account?" Bob said. Togepi's eyes widened and immediately hugged Bob. The audience went "awww" and a second later they rioted. And that's why you should always care for you kids, or else they'll act like you.

-

tobecontinued


	13. sixth gym battle

-1Bob went inside the sixth gym. "My name is Bloodraven" the gym leader said "who the hell are you?" Bob stuttered "uhhh…….I'm Bob and I would like to have a Pokemon battle?" "Pokemon?" Bloodraven laughed out loud "Pokemon SUCKS!" "Then why are you a gym leader?" Missingno asked. Bloodraven smirked "so I can kill Pokemon!" Bloodraven pulls out two submachine guns and fires at the trainer and Pokemon. Bob tried to escape but the door wouldn't budge! "I locked the door you retard" Bloodraven shouted "now suffer!"

Bob ducked as flying knives flew over his head. Bloodraven pulled out a grenade and was about to pull the pin, but Missingno fired water gun on it and it turned it into cheese! "Damn you!" Bloodraven screamed as he fired a rocket launcher at Missingno. The rocket hit Missingno and knocked him out.

Milotic came and whacked Bloodraven with her tail. The gym leader got mad and fried the Pokemon with a flamethrower. Of course Milotic was a water Pokemon so it wasn't very effective. Bloodraven then pulled out a taser and shocked Milotic until she was knocked out.

Bob checked to see if it was okay to get out from his hiding spot, and nearly got hit by a sniper bullet. Bloodraven was about to fire his sniper rifle if Togepi hadn't kicked him in the leg. "You want to die, little Pokemon?" Bloodraven said cutely as he pulled out a katana. Togepi pulled out a chainsaw. So Bloodraven and Togepi had a katana/chainsaw fight, and Togepi was nearly winning. But Bloodraven kicked Togepi and knocked him into a wall and knocked him out.

The gym leader saw Bob crawling away and tackled him. "Rot in hell, Pokemon lover" whispered Bloodraven as he put a pistol to Bob's head. Somebody tapped the gym leader and he turned to see who it was, only to get his eyes gorged out by Pidgeotto. "AHHH, MY FUCKING EYES!" screamed Bloodraven. He fired random weapons wildly trying to hit the Pidgeotto. But Bob shot Bloodraven in the head with his own pistol.

"You like that don't you!" Bob shouted as he fired at the corpse. "You want more? Here's more! Have the whole freaking thing, you little shit! DIE HEHEHE, DIIIIIIIIIE!" When there was no bullets left Bob punched Bloodraven in the face repeatedly while humping his leg. "Dude" said the now evolved Pigeot "I got the Hater Badge from him, let's get out of here!" Bob agreed and he returned all his Pokemon to their poke balls and went out of the gym through a hole that a missile made.

Bloodraven's mom, the real gym leader, opened the front door. "Raven, I'm back from the market" said his mother "what do you want for din-" She saw her ruined gym and her dead son. His mom screamed "HOLY SHIT!"

-

To be C


	14. trying the Safari Zone

-1Bob was walking one day and noticed the Safari Zone. He heard about the place and wanted to check it out. "G'day mate" said a guy "I'm the Totodile hunter, and you must want to go catch some Pokemon in the Safari Zone, right?" "Uh, yeah" Bob answered. "Great, follow me!" said the Totodile hunter and he bounced on a pogo stick.

After some walking they came across a Tauros. Bob was about to send out a Pokemon, but the hunter stopped him. "In order to preserve the wild-life here, you can't use your Pokemon to capture wild ones" said the Totodile hunter. Bob asked "then how can you catch Pokemon?" "Very easy answer" said the hunter "use rocks and food!" The Totodile hunter demonstrated by tossing a stone at the Tauros. The bull Pokemon got pissed and beat the crap out of the Totodile hunter. "Crikey!" he shouted "look at the size of those horns he's using to beat me with! Aren't they beautiful?"

While the Totodile hunter was getting his ass kicked, Bob explored a bit. Then came a wild Dratini! "I can't have a Pokemon battle" Bob said "but they didn't say anything about a RAP BATTLE!" He got into his gangsta clothing and started rapping.

"Yo yo yo,

I'm rap master B,

And I'm here to capture Dratini!

From every high to every low,

Yo' mama is a dirty hoe!"

Wild Pokemon laughed and cheered as Bob was putting down Dratini. Dratini got mad, switched to it's own gangsta outfit, and rapped too.

"Dra dra tini dratini,

Tini ni dra ti drati,

Tini ti dra ni dra,

Dratini tini dra!"

Bob frowned as wild Pokemon were laughing hysterically. He rapped again.

"Dratini is a pity,

For being so rare,

Because he's so shitty,

I could beat him with my hair!"

Pokemon went "ooooo!" Well, at they tried to, but they just said a part of their names, really. Dratini then rapped like crazy!

"Dratini dratini dratini,

Dratini dratini dratini,

Dratini dratini dratini,

dratini dratini dratini,

dratini dratini dratini,

dratini dratini dratini,

dratini dratini dratini,

dratini dratini dratini,

dratini dratini dratini,

Tini ni DRATINI!"

Wild Pokemon went crazy after Dratini dropped the bomb on the human. Bob got mad and tossed a poke ball at Dratini, capturing it. The Pokemon got mad and pulled out guns. "Oh shit" muttered Bob. He got into a helicopter and fell away. The wild Pokemon, still angry, decided to take their anger out by having tea parties.

But what happened to the Totodile hunter? Well, after the Tauros got bored with impaling him, the two went to Las Vegas and married each other. Unfortunately, their marriage was cut short when the Tauros was seen cheating with a birthday cake.

-

Tuba continued.


	15. seventh gym battle

-1Bob couldn't believe it. The seventh gym leader was none other than Ash Ketchum! "What are you doing here as a gym leader?" asked Bob. "Well" Ash started "after I became the Pokemon master I married Misty/May/Brock/Pikachu/whatever and then I decided to retire and be a gym leader!" "It would be an honor to fight you" Bob said "SO WHEN I KICK YOUR ASS I'LL LAUGH A LOT! MUAHAHAHA!"

The battle was starting as Pikachu jumped from Ash's side and on to the battlefield. Bob sent out Missingno, which Ash has never seen before. The gym leader decides to check Missingno with his Pokedex. "Missingno, the glitch Pokemon" said the Pokedex "it can alter reality itself and is considered highly dangerousssssssstgpsgb b eerqyqyrf rbfaregfbrfbd CUPCAKEZ PLZ!" The Pokedex then exploded.

"Alright Pikachu, use agility and don't get hit!" Ash shouted. Pikachu moved left and right very fast, making it hard for Missingno to aim. "Use sky attack!" Bob shouted to his Pokemon. Missingno charged up, then successfully attacked Pikachu. Ash cried "oh no, Pikachu!" Pikachu fell to the floor, then stood up………..AS SURFING PIKACHU! "Holy shit!" both Bob and Ash shouted.

"Pikachu, use surf!" Ash ordered. Pikachu got on surfboard and rode on a randomly appearing tidal wave. Actually the tidal wave came from the restrooms because the sewer pipes overflowed but Ash never got the memo. "Quick, Missingno, counter it with your own surf!" commanded Bob. Missingno took out a surf board that kinda looks like him and rode on the tidal wave as well. While the Pokemon surfed, Pikachu tried to shoot thunderbolts at Missingno while Missingno tried to spit his water gun at Pikachu. It all came to a draw when both crashed into……

…a net?

"Prepare for trouble!" said a female voice. "And make it double!" said a male voice. "Blahblahblahblahblah Meowth dats right!" said another male voice. "Oh no, it's Team Rocket!" shouted Ash "and they got Pikachu and Missingno!" And out came Team Rocket, inside some random Pokemon-proof giant robot. "Hehehe! You'll never win now!" giggled James. Ash sighed "why did I leave the rest of my Pokemon at the Laundromat, why?" "I'll save them" Bob heroically stated. He then whacked the robot with a twig, and nothing happened. "Yeah, we're screwed" said Bob.

"Dis is perfect!" Meowth laughed "we finally got Pikachu and a rare Pokemon, and nobody can be able to stop us!" He then sat on the self-destruct switch. "Fuck" muttered Meowth. Then the robot exploded! "We're blasting off agaaaaaain!" cried Team Rocket as they flew into the sky. Pikachu and Missingno somehow didn't blast off and landed in their trainers' arms. "Even though you didn't beat my Pikachu or stop Team Rocket or actually do anything because you're a crappy person" Ash said "I'm still giving you the TV badge just because I feel like it." Bob thanked Ash and went on his merry way.

And Ash, having excitement once again, decides to continue his adventures on the 5704245634461256857223612347318993462436th season.

-

Continue?


	16. stopping the bad guys

-1"I am the best security guard ever!" shouted a Team Bad member "nobody will get passed me!" Bob came running with his legs between his legs saying "where's the bathroom?" "Down the hall to the left" the grunt said as Bob entered the Team Bad headquarters. "Yup" spoke the grunt "best security guard ever!"

Bob ran everything, trying to find the bathroom. He was soon stopped by another guard. "You have no authorization in this base" said the guard "your coming with me!" Bob couldn't hold it anymore and went on the guard. "Like, that is SO GROSS!" said the now wet guard "Eww! It's all in my hair and everything!" The guard cried and ran away. Bob quacked and decided to explore the place.

Meanwhile, two guards were watching Bob on a security camera. "There's an intruder in Sector One" said one guard "alert the grunts there." "I don't want to" said the other guard. "Come oooooon!" the first guard whined "it's my birthday today!" "Fine" the second guard sighed and pressed the alarm button.

The entire base soon blared with alarms and flashed red. "We have an intruder, we have an intruder!" boomed a voice on an intercom "this is not a drill! I repeat, this is not a drill! Just kidding, it is a drill! Oh wait, no, it's actually not a drill, sorry about that."

Team Bad grunts came through the doors, through the roof, through the windows, through the walls, through the ground, through a portal, through a clown car, and through a guy's butt. "Hey, I don't see an intruder" said one grunt. Another grunt looked around and said "crap! This is Sector Two, not Sector One!" The grunts quickly went to Sector One, but they all got stuck between a door and they all died from starvation.

Bob himself was still wandering around. He took an elevator and went to Sector Infinity. Inside Sector Infinity was a giant nuke with words written on it say 'Team Bad just pwned you noobs!' "Oh no!" gasped Bob "they might blow up a candy store or something!" He then went to try and stop the nuke. Then came a Team Bad admin! "I don't think so" grumbled the admin.

The admin sent out an Arcanine. But it wasn't an ordinary Arcanine, it was a three-headed mutated one! "Stupid boy" the admin laughed "you shouldn't try and mess with villains. Attack!" The Arcanine started charging up a triple flamethrower attack! "Hey, Arcanine" Bob said "why are you going to kill me? At least I didn't make you a freak!" The fire Pokemon thought about it, and instead attacked it's master. "AHHHH!" screamed the flaming admin.

Bob then went and pressed the 'don't nuke stuff' button. The nuke then exploded. But not like nuke exploded, more like a regular explosion or something. "Now to get out of here before I get caught!" Bob said to himself. He turned around and there was the boss of Team Bad, Darth Bad! Bob squeeked "fuck monkeys."

"You may have won this round, Bob" Darth Bad said "but I'll get you next time!" Bob asked "why? Are you the eighth gym leader?" "Erm…….of course not!" answered Darth Bad "honestly, I'm not!" "Are you sure?" Bob asked again. Darth Bad said "yes I'm sure, after all would I ever lie to you?"

-

To be not not continued.


	17. eighth gym battle

-1"Liar!" Bob shouted "you are the eighth gym leader!" "I'm a villain" said Darth Bad "it's my job to lie." They pulled out light sabers and had a duel. Bob went slashy slashy and Darth Bad went slashy slash slash. The Pokemon trainer got his hand cut off! "Join me Bob" Darth Bad "you don't know the power of the bad side!" "Never!" Bob yelled "you killed my father!" Darth Bad spoke "no Bob, I am your father!" Bob screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Darth Bad decided to look at his watch and said "well, there's nothing else to do today, want to go to the park?" "Sure thing daddy!" Bob said grinning.

So they went to the park. There they walked, played hide and seek, played catch, ate hotdogs, robbed a bank, played tag, fought off waves of zombies, played catch again, walked again, punched someone, ran away from someone, and got stuck in a tree. "Oh Bob, I wish this day would never end" said Darth Bad. Bob replied "I totally agree." THEN BOB STABBED HIS DAD IN THE BACK!

"Why son, why?" asked the dying Darth Bad. "Because you never gave me presents on my birthday and Christmas!" shouted Bob "and I want to take over Team Bad all for myself! BUAHAHAHAHA!" "You moron" said Darth Bad "I also lied about being your father. Your mom is too much of an ugly bitch for me to bang." Then he died. Bob shrugged and took the Bad Badge from the corpse.

"Yes! I finally have all eight badges!" Bob said in excitement "now I'm finally a Pokemon Master!" "Uh…….actually you have to fight the Elite Four in order to become a Pokemon Master" said the ghost of Darth Bad. "Damn it!" Bob shouted "will this crappy fanfic ever end?"

-

Tune in next time!


	18. encountering a legendary Pokemon

-1It another day in the wilderness as Bob was training his Pokemon for experience. And the way to get experience was none other than beating up lots of Pokemon! "DESTROY! DESTROY! HEHEHAHAHA!" Bob commanded as his Pokemon were demolishing an entire forest. Trees were cut down, plants were sent on fire, rocks were smashed into pieces, and e-mails were filled with spam. Soon enough, his Pokemon gained many levels. Even Dratini evolved into Dragonite, because I gosh darn said so! "Good work guys!" Bob said to his exhausted Pokemon "let's get a move on!" The trainer left with his Pokemon in their poke balls, and the entire forest was gone. And then came construction workers who planned to build a mall for fat people.

But in the distance watching the whole thing was the POKEMON RANGERS! "That heartless trainer just destroyed all those poor Pokemon's homes!" gasped Ranger Yellow. "His crimes will not go unpunished!" shouted Ranger Blue. "But he is too powerful for us!" sighed Ranger Black. "What should we do?" asked Ranger Pink. The leader, Ranger Red looked at his partners and said "let the boss handle him." The rangers agreed.

Later that day, Bob was walking around and then got attacked! "Ouchiness!" cried Bob "who did that?" The Pokemon Rangers appeared and said "we did!" Bob tried to escape but Ranger Blue tossed a laundry basket over him and he was trapped! Ranger Pink said to their new prisoner "we are here to defeat you because you have been attacking wild Pokemon and destroying their homes!" Bob whined "give me a break! I'm only ten years old!" "It's too late!" shouted Ranger Red "NOW FACE THE WRATH OF OUR BOSS!" And out from the heavens came Ho-oh!

"Ah snap!" Bob shouted. Ho-oh shot a sacred fire at Bob and he dodged it. The laundry basket, however, was pwned to the EXTREME! "NOT THE LAUNDRY BASKET!" cried Ranger Black. "Ha!" laughed Bob "I will defeat Ho-oh will my Pokemon!" Ranger Yellow ran by and stole Bob's Pokemon. Bob screamed "SHIT!" "Don't think you'll get out of this that easily!" Ranger Red chuckled. With no other options, Bob pulled out a master ball! "Where the hell did you get that?" Ranger Red loudly asked. The trainer looked at the master ball, then to Ranger Red and said "beats me." Bob tossed the master ball at Ho-oh and captured it!

"Holy crap!" Bob happily shouted "I just captured a legendary Pokemon!" The Pokemon Rangers, though, weren't as pleased. "YOU DUMBASS!" they screamed all together "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'VE JUST DONE!" Suddenly, Digimon poured from out of a wormhole and began to invade the entire world. "Well, looks like it's time to move on!" Bob said as he got the rest of his poke balls and walked off. The Rangers ran away as a Superduperdeathmon was chasing after them.

-

To be…..ah you get the fucking idea!


	19. Elite Four battle

-1He couldn't believe it. What was once a dream was almost a reality. Bob was at the Leet Plateau! With his six Pokemon fully healed, his bag filled with supplies, and his mind was in top condition. "I AM READY!" Bob shouted, then his pants fell down. Embarrassed, the trainer went into a bush and back out with a belt on. "NOW I AM READY!" yelled Bob as entered the arena. There he saw a man that reeked of intimidation, and armpit sweat.

"Greetings, challenger" said the man "I am the Elite Four!" "You're the Elite Four?" Bob questioned "but I thought the Elite Four had four people!" The Elite Four looked at Bob for a moment, then laughed out loud! Once he stopped laughing, he looked at Bob again and said "ah, I believe you are another one who misinterpreted my title. You see, my real name is 4 and I'm a close cousin to the second gym twins." Bob laughed out loud too, and said "ah, now I get it! Hehehe, that makes tons of sense now!" THEN THE FIGHT STARTED!

"Go Togepi!" Bob yelled as he released his Pokemon. "Go Blaziken!" yelled 4 as he released his Pokemon. Togepi crapped in his egg shell, then Blaziken kicked him over the stadium. "Go Milotic!" Bob shouted as sent out the next Pokemon. Milotic soaked Blaziken to unconsciousness. "Go Venusaur!" 4 yelled. Venusaur choked Milotic. "Go Pidgeot!" Pidgeot pecked Venusaaur. "Go Feraligator!" Feraligator froze Pidgeot. "Go Dragonite!" Dragonite blasted Feraligator. "Go Raichu!" Raichu zapped Dragonite. "Go Ho-oh!" Ho-oh roasted Raichu. "Go Tyranitar!" Tyranitar crunched Ho-oh. "Go Missingno!" Missingno glitches up Tyranitar. "Go Snorlax!" Snorlax did nothing.

"Snorlax!"

…

"Snorlax!"

…

"SNORLAX!"

… "zzzzzz"

"God damn it, not again!" 4 muttered. The Elite Four sent his remaining Pokemon back to it's poke ball. With a sigh, 4 said to Bob "you have defeated me, congratulations." Bob and Missingno cheered and gave each other high fives. "However" continued 4 "you now must defeat the champion." A door opened up behind 4, and all Bob and Missingno could see was darkness. With a gulp, the trainer and Pokemon ventured through the opened door, only for it to close behind them.

"Welcome dear Bob" said a dark, but familiar, voice "it is so good of you to see us." "Who are you?" Bob asked trying to look through the dark "and how do you know my name? Please turn on the lights, I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK!" "If you insisted" the voice spoke, and there was light. Bob looked in front of him and was wide eyed. Sitting on a flaming throne made of skulls was none other than his archrival!

"ROB!" Bob shouted "since when did you become champion?" "Since the day we got our Pokemon, dumbass!" said Rob. "Thanks to Mew, I easily teleported to the gyms and kicked their asses, then went here and beaten the Elite Four. But I never thought you of all people would actually get here. But that doesn't matter anyway." Rob then punched Missingno and knocked it out! "Hey!" Bob shouted "now how can we battle?" Rob smirked, and both were teleported away.

The two soon appeared in outer space, floating right above Earth. "We will have an ultimate showdown to the death" Rob said "winner takes all!" And to make things really strange, Rob transformed into a giant robot demon! Rob chuckled demonically and boomed "**_NOW PREPARE TO DIE!_**"

-

To be continued!

"Fuck that!" Bob shouted. He kicked Rob in the nuts and Rob fell down to Earth. Bob did a pose and said "w00t! I am the champion!"


	20. what happened afterwords

-1Bob became a Pokemon Master. However, because he had no way to get back to Earth, he was stuck in space forever and he died.

Missingno woke up a became the real Pokemon Master. Nobody could beat it because it would glitch everything it touched.

Pidgeotto had his own talk show called 'The Poop On Pidgeotto." Of course, Pidgeotto never had poop on him.

Milotic became a rich supermodel. But like any other model she had an eating disorder and soon became fat. Then she became a really rich supermodel for fat people.

Togepi became an emo demon hunter and whooped demons with really cool moves.

Dragonite started a business of rap music for Pokemon. It was more successful than regular rap because soccer moms had no idea what the Pokemon were saying.

Ho-oh gave up on humanity and went on vacation.

Bob's mom rebuilt her home by sleeping with construction workers and then attempt to blackmail them unless they built a house.

Professor Tree decided to give legendary Pokemon as starters. Thus began the generation of Mary Sues.

The wild Pidgey was still in another dimension. It tried to start a rebellion against the robots, but it was a stupid so it didn't last long.

Jim crapped in a boat so hard the crap opened a hole at the bottom of the boat. The boat sank and Jim was eaten by mutated sharks.

Plusie and Minun became successful melon sellers. But they later retired when it was apparent when they realized their customers were perverts.

The random trainer went to outer space and saved his Zubat. But the Zubat didn't like him so it chucked the trainer into a volcano.

The horrors of Zubat's Lair never got another victim. They still stay in the cave, only because they pay rent.

Rattata was still in a plot hole. But nobody really cared anyway.

Kyra was still an attractive girl but also a psychotic bitch.

The Sharpedo with a violin joined with an orchestra and was very famous.

Iguy was sent to a mental hospital for his split personalities. Nobody knew what was on his head was his hair, his hat, or a hair hat alien from Zyxam Prime.

Rebecca still continues to participate in Pokemon contests. Although she now has third degree burns and smells like chicken.

The forth gym leader was actually an imposter, and got his ass kicked by the real gym leader.

The old man who owned the daycare was arrested when police found out what Pokemon did at the daycare. But the Pokemon rather enjoyed the place.

The gothic band became depressed when Togepi left. So they ate each other heads off.

Raven's mom was in despair when she found her son dead. She was in more despair when she found multiple weapons and countless corpses in his closet.

The Totodile Hunter was furious at his Tauros wife. But his wife found out he had also cheated on her with a 'gorgeous' Croconaw.

Ash Ketchum continues his adventures. Yet people wonder why the hell he's still ten years old.

Team Bad decided their jobs are too dangerous and very illegal and stopped their villainy altogether. But now they do more humane bad deeds, as being horrible anime dubbers.

Darth Bad's spirit has gone to hell. But he locked Satan in the bathroom and now rules the underworld.

The Pokemon Rangers now work to defend the world against otherworldly invaders. Except the people they're protecting think they're losers.

The Elite Four was still 31337.

Everyone that died in this fic came back as zombies and had a disco dance party.

Rob survived the fall to Earth. He then thought Pokemon training was stupid anyhow, and now travels to other anime shows and gets lucky with the ladies.

I continue to make lousy fanfics until…… stuff happens. Yeah.

_**THE END! NOW GO AWAY!**_


End file.
